Friday, 11 July 2008

Graduation Day

PhotobucketThis post is officially coming from a Graduate: Ba Hons Sociology. How posh! I'm still unemployed though. So it's not done me that much good!

Anyway, yesterday was fun. I got to wear a silly hat. I really wanted to steal it. And, like the sensible clever graduate that I am, I decided to weigh up the pros and cons. Hat..prison, Hat...prison food, Hat...scary lesbians in prison, Hat...prison cell. I returned the hat.

However. The uni thought they could charge me £30 for a dirty oven and a few bin liners which were left in my uni halls at the end of first year. I lived with 9 other people in my first year. That's £270 to clean an oven and remove some rubbish. What on earth were they cleaning the oven with, or more importantly what the hell is it made of, solid gold?! I decided to get my £30 back by getting my moneys worth from the 'free' stuff on the day...

1) I drank one bottle of wine to myself. It tasted cheapish.
2) I ate three plates full of food and even asked for desert.
3) I stole a toilet role from the toilet.
4) I 'forgot' to return my wine glass.
5) I was given a sheet of paper with my number on it. I kept that, along with the laminated number 33,34, AND 35.
6) I left my empty bottle of water at our drinks reception. If a bin liner and oven costs £270 to clear up, a single bottle of water must cost at least £35.
7) Mummy shark helped me out and stole 5 Booklets from the chairs in the cathedral. Nice work mummy shark!

For all those addicted to BOPIT, my current high score is 160. Flick it, pull it, twist it, spin it, bopit. Sometimes I find myself chanting the words even when I'm not playing it. I have written to the Bopit HQ and requested a waterproof bopit be made ready for my relocation to the Atlantic.

Anyway, I must be off, I am heading off to the sunny land of Madrid tomorrow. I only realised on Weds that I'm actually going on Sat, and I currently have no Euros, no suitcase, no insurance, no train ticket, no suncream and no meds. Its going to be a frantic few hours but, with a little help from my reliable albeit inflatable kangaroo Gary, and my wise air filled Tiger called Norman, it's nothing Sharkypants can't handle.


Emmie said...

WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited that you have graduated! Please find Pete and get a photo up of you in your funky hat!

Your blog makes me giggle so much and right now I need a giggle as I have prceisely 48 hours left before I have to do on a diet of tiny portions of meat, white bread and peeled potatoes. FOR 4 WHOLE DAYS!!! Noooooooooo!!!

By the way a toilet role is someone who is performing the role of a toilet. I think you meant "toilet roll" - unless of course you really were pretending to be a toilet yesterday...which would be messy to say the least....

Can't wait to see you, have a faberoony holiday in Madrid and bring me back a straw donkey!

Love youuuuuuuuu!!! xxxxx

YourSash Staff said...

congratulations on graduating!

Mc Clarey said...

Hahahaha!!! I think I did mean toilet roll... oops. I might be a graduate but I can't tell the difference between roll and role.
And they say degree's are getting eaiser...

Jayne said...

Oh, I love Bopit, but I get annoyed when it says 'dude' in that condescending way and 'er NO!'. So i stamped on it.

Congratulations on your graduating.

Great blog by the way!

Aimee said...

Congratulations on graduating =]