Saturday, 31 January 2009

My arson attempt

I left the heater on at work last week. It was a very old heater, but I liked it. I liked it so much I decided it was too good to only be on during office hours, so I gave it an all nighter treat. Unfortunately not everyone agreed with my secret treat for the heater. I think leaving it next to a wooley cardigen may have been a bit of a over sight. But sadly the heaters illegal party was caught, and the poor thing was thrown out in the skip like an old shitty wardrobe. Aparently leaving a heater on over night is a fire risk. I miss the heater, it had so much to live for, but alas, it's gone. Gone but not forgotten. It will always have a special place in my heart.

I will leave you with a very special letter I wrote on the day I had to say bye to the heater...

"Dearest heater,
Thank you so much for keeping me warm, because of you I never got goosepimples.
Love your beloved Sharky pants"

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

The Belfast adventure

I somehow managed to survive Belfast! It was a very nice few days break. A few disasters including almost missing our plane due to getting carried away in Frankie an Bennies, but alas we made it.

The plane was a bit bumpy but that's what you get when you travel cheap. I love Ryanair they even play a cute little personal song when you take off and land ''lets fly, lets fly, fly, fly, ryanaire'' I'm thinking of using it as my X -Factor audition song, I'd like to stand out and I think this might well be the perfect way.

Once we arrived at Belfast and we managed to find our B & B we were given the choice of two bedrooms. One upstairs or one downstairs. My friend Catrinder McWinderwiffendorinian announced to the lady showing us around that we would like a room as far away from people as possible because ''we are quite noisy''. I'm not exactly sure what the lady thought she meant, and she did look somewhat bemused, and continued to show us a room with a big double bed and a single bed. Just in case there was any confusion regarding our relationship I decided to make a big point about me sleeping on the single bed letting Catrinder McWinderwiffendorinian take the double bed. At which point Catrinder clearly not noticing that this lady thinks were a couple says ''Oh its ok Clare you can just get in with me''. The look on the Lady's face was a classic.

The next day after breakfast we went out shopping for the day, and when we returned only the double bed had been made...

We also got to see the lights being turned on in Belfast, and I had the luxury of watching Same Difference Sing. Is it just me or does everyone seem to think about dancing burgers and hot dogs when watching Same Difference perform?