Thursday, 28 January 2010

23 years old and still can't dress myself.

Well it's now 2010 and I have been officially awful at updating this blog, but alas I am back and ready to entertain.

Firstly a little update, I am, unfortunately, still human, but I noticed some of my teeth are beginning to go a bit more pointy and shark like. It's a slow process changing into a shark, but it will be worth the wait. My Australian tan has now vanished, and my teeth are back to normal colour. Turned out the whitening gel wasn't permanent thank goodness. I haven't had any more train disasters, partly due to the purchase of a car. That's right people, I am on the roads and yes you should beware I'm a terrible driver.

I have been having a few problems with my clothing recently. I'm now managing to dress myself okay and have had no more flashing incidents, but its when I come to remove my clothes everything falls apart. A little while back I was planning my outfit for a weekend away, and thought I'd give one of my newish dresses a trial. So I put it on, did the usual twists and turns in the mirror and decided it was a maybe. Went to take it off, and couldn't for the life of me get it off, I tried everything, every odd position I could think off, nothing. The result? I slept in it, wore it to work, wore it to my friends, slept in it again, got drunk, confessed to friends that said dress is stuck. It took three people to get it off me. I knelt on the floor, hands over my head. One friend stood on the bed pulling one side, another friend pulling the other side and the third friend assisting with the bottom of the dress.

I thought I had put that episode behind me. I really thought I had. Until about two weeks ago, I was getting ready for work, I put on my coat, did up the zip, and the zip started coming apart from the bottom. I tried to take it off but couldn't, and I really didn't have the time to keep trying as I was running late. Our office at work is usually cold I thought I could get away with it. So I arrive to work, and manage an hour before starting to feel really quite hot. Eventually I had to seek assistance. But this time I knew the routine, bend legs, arms above head, coat off, self respect...gone. It's a little like the hokey cokey ''knees bent, arms stretched, raa raa raa''

That is all for now.