Tuesday, 6 April 2010


A rare opportunity has become available in my tank...

I am looking for a male shark who is tall with dark eyes and thick brown curly hair. You must be available on a Sunday preferably afternoons to accompany me on nice walks.

If you are rich and a good cook that would be an advantage, but I will accept applicants with a willingness to rob a bank and enroll on a cookery course.

Previous petrol station experience is essential, along with a functional sat nav which I can use.

Please be aware that I am a very busy person and this excellent opportunity is only available on a Sunday and for a trial period of time over the summer, extensions may be considered if your lucky.

All succesful aplicants will be contacted and asked to atend the interviews scheduled for the 31st April.

Due to equal opportunities I am unable to discriminate but I would strongly advise people who are either poor, bald, shorter than 5''4, female, or have a Rhino allergy not to bother. I think we can safely say your application will be lost in the Atlantic.

I look forward to hearing from you.


Anonymous said...

Dear Ms Clarey

I wish to apply for the advertised postion. I feel I am well suited to the role as I have been swimming with sharks all my life.

My middle name is Rich and can cook a mean boiled egg.

Look forward to meeting you on the 31st April.


Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Shark,

I am 5"3 with ginger hair and a bald patch. However I do have a box I can stand on to make me tall and I can make pot noodles. In fact my pot noodle/fish finger fusion is the talk of Bognor Regis!

Your hoprefully,
-Fish Finger man