I have made a lifestyle decision that I am going to become one of those people that get to hold Koalas all day every day. They are so cute, especially when there stoned which is almost all the time, its like the perfect animal! I am also rather in love with Kangaroos, I got to feed them in the wild and it was the best thing ever. My travel buddy Samantha McCoxinan has decided to scrap being a lawyer and become a dolphin trainer, because the men are all gorgeous and there good with Dolphins and good with kids = the perfect man!
So far in Oz I've had a few unfortunate incidents regarding flashing and a weird foot fetish man that offered $1500 to suck on my toes and a few other rude things, I cant say I was impressed with that, I'm at least worth $5000.
I've seen wild dolphins and been swimming in shark infested waters with my sharky friends, I had a run in with a sea lion which involved the little bugger sneezing on me and covering me from head to toe in snot, and believe me those things have A LOT of snot in there noses! It was gross and it smelt, and if I'm honest I think I even swallowed a bit. I've been stung by a jellyfish, broken one camera so far and drank more goon than I think is humanly possible. I also got swept out to sea on a Kayak and had to be rescued because I got stuck in a storm, apparently they almost had to call search and rescue for me because I was so far out and I was holding my oar up because that's what you do when your in trouble but it was acting as a sail (which I didn't realise!) and was sending me further away, silly me !
I love Oz and think I might have to find a way to live here for ever and ever, the beaches are amazing, and the weather is the best its not even summer and it's boiling! I even have a bit of colour, and also a lot more cellulite, but I guess we can't have it all!
Toodle Pips!
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3 comments:
you dont look fat in your pictures atall, very brown though! Why are they stoned? I think I need to call rspca hehe. Glad your having a great time, but you have to come back home don't stay there forever!!
Lovely to hear you're having a great time but BE CAREFUL.
That seal snot reminded me of a joke about blowing a seal but I can't remember how it goes.
Don't poo poo offers of cash for toe sucking - it could help to pay for some souvenirs. Don't do any toe sucking though. I did that once for a bet (honestly) and I still can't eat parmaesan.
Happy holidays,
Audrey xx
Ewww sea lion snott yuck!!!
I'm glad you've posted I've missed your crazy rambling (Isay that in the nicest possible way) xx
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